Jack@$$ Attempts Van Theft!

So, at 2am Jess arrived back at the shop from roasting at the warehouse with a load of beans. She parks it in the alley, opens the side door and goes into the shop. At that moment, a friendly jack@!$ from the Stadium Inn runs across the street, jumps into the van, fires it up and peels away, catching the dumpster with the side door, dragging it several feet, takes out the neighbors fence and promptly runs into a telephone poll. Total length of trip: 50 feet!