The decision recognizes the general movement within the industry of late, eschewing technologically advanced equipment in favor of simpler devices that focus more attention on the preparer than the misdirected focus on the product. "Customers want a show, Nicholas explained, "they could never hope to have the sophisticated taste and knowledge of a skilled barista but this way we can educate them about terroir and processing methods."
It is hoped that the addition of the mortar and pestle into Third Wave coffee bars will help slow the line times down another 3 to 5 minutes, allowing baristas to more fully develop their coffee lectures to eager, uninformed customers. "Currently, our line times are averaging around 15 minutes, that's just not long enough to fully explain to the customer where their coffee is coming from," one barista said.
While it is too early yet to judge the potential success of the new model, many high end coffee bars are already adopting the mortar and pestle along with the return of propane-fired, piston-lever espresso machines, and finally, finally, ridding the stores of condiment bars. "We want customers to fully appreciate the coffee as we intended it," a spokesperson said. "Plus, they really make a mess over there."
Asked about any concerns about how the longer times may affect customer loyalty, Nicholas was quick to point out that they are already at work on a model that eliminates the customer altogether. One concept being promoted would include stadium seating in lieu of a cusomer queue so that Baristas can practice their craft without customer interuption. "We're very excited about this new model, I mean, customers are just such a hassle"
"Just think of what we could do without them!"
7 comments:
Heh. I actually was biting on this, until past half-way through the article. Thank you for the smiles! Poha.
The mortar and pestle will be the official grinder! That is so hipster! Love it. I love grinding my own beans but I must admit, using a single cup coffee maker is pretty nice.
What are you so uptight about? Is your business failing because your customers have all chosen to go to the new, more hipster cafe across the street or something? Do you have a normal blog where you don't just construct snot nosed straw men, and actually try to engage other humans positively through your writing? Because this is just masturbation.
Who's scruffy looking? Must have hit it pretty close to the mark to rile her up like that, huh kid?!
What are you so strained about? Is your company unable because your clients have all selected to go to the new, more hipster restaurant across the road or something? Do you have a regular weblog where you don't just build snot nosed hay men, and actually try to interact with other people favorably through your writing? Because this is just self pleasure.
Either there is an echo chamber in here or Hipster parroting is a bigger problem than originally believed!
I love this piece, if this satire makes you upset, maybe you are a little too uptight. Relax. It's called humor people.
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